When will Eddie Murphy learn to stop making movies?
A very close friend of mine is dealing with a parent with cancer right now. Her parent’s condition is rapidly declining and the parent only has a few weeks to live. She is very much in denial and always jokes that I cry enough for the two of us. It’s incredibly hard for me to witness something like this because I know what it’s like. Having lost my father to cancer at the age of...
1612th: I bet madonna was born on a leap day that’s probably why she thinks she’s 15
In the Daytime: At Night:
nehzoomey: how do 90% of people on tumblr even go outside without being offended by a blade of grass or something
Friend: Hi, how are you feeling today?
Me: I think I've hit an All Time Low.
Friend: Oh my gosh. What's wrong?
Me: Well, The Maine reason is that no one gets my band references.
Friend: Wait what?
Me: Can we go to dinner so I can explain. You. Me. At Six?
Friend: What are you talking about?
Me: Or I guess we could wait for summer... Is The Summer Set?
Friend: What the hell.
Me: I mean, we could go to a parade. Perhaps a Mayday Parade?
Friend: What the fuck is a Mayday Parade.
Me: Goodbye cruel world! Bring Me The Horizon!
Friend: You're so weird.
Me: I guess we're having a Fall Out, Boy.
Friend: I'm a girl.
Me: Yes, and Boys Like Girls.
Me: Well maybe we could go swim the Marianas Trench together.
Friend: *walks away*
Me: What? It's actually quite a Simple Plan.
Me: OH CMON! fine, do you want to go to the homeless shelter? WE COULD FOSTER THE PEOPLE!
Me: You should come to Ghana and meet my family. They might stone you though.
Vera: I'm okay with that as long as you take a picture during the process so that I can write a caption that says "Getting stoned."
Vera: or "we will, we will, rock you."
richwhitelesbian: i hope rick santorum goes to the corner store to get a can of delicious arizona iced tea and when he takes out his wallet he grabs it wrong and it opens at a weird angle and all his change and his bank card and drivers license fall out and everyone behind him in line is looking at him like “wow what an idiot” while he frantically tries to pick up all his pennies
I live with a constant battle of having to choose between either doing homework, going to sleep early or watching Doctor Who/ Parks and Rec. my life is so difficult.
When I think about books I touch my shelf.
jamjalex: if the best things in life are free why do concert tickets cost money
Those who are heartless, once cared too much.
step one: take out homework
step two: reward self with two hours of internet for getting that far